final freedom
by brattyteenagewerewolf
Summary: Gilbert made a mistake and would do anything to fix it. but who's he really doing it for? his brother? or his own guilt? oneshot, slight gerita


**A/N: why did I come up with this? This is awful! It's depressing!**

…**but it's been bugging me for a while since I've never written an unintentional death before, murder yes, suicide yes but an actual unintentional death? No. and tormenting characters seems to be a pastime of mine…**

**Hetalia isn't mine, the poem however is. Yes, I do write poetry.**

It had all gone wrong so quickly. They'd been at a party; Ludwig had protested the idea before slowly loosening up. His brother had even left with an alcohol induced smile on his face. Just a slight buzz though, nowhere near as intoxicated as Gilbert was.

How had it gone so wrong?

It had been his fault… this was all his fault…

.o.)O(.o.

"Bru, maybe you should let me drive…" Ludwig's eyes were on the speedometer, watching as it steadily rose higher and higher.

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine!" Gilbert scoffed, jerking the wheel and correcting the car as if to prove his point. The younger German went pale as the vehicle swerved dangerously, almost coming off the road before settling back into a relatively straight line.

"Gilbert, stop the car." He ordered. The albino just snorted turning his body to look at his brother.

"Why? Are you scared or something? I don't recall being related to a coward…" Ludwig's eyes went wide as the car swerved again, unintentionally following his elder brother's movement.

"Gil! Look out!" he shouted as lights flashed and the car collided with the oncoming truck with the cacophony of blaring horns and squealing brakes.

.o.)O(.o.

"Hey bruder! How are you feeling?" Gilbert asked with a strained smile. He sighed at the lack of response, the same thing he'd been getting for the past month and a half.

Every day he'd arrive at the hospital with the hope that his brother would be awake but every time he just lay limply in the hospital bed. The machines that were keeping him alive were the only sounds to greet his arrival.

"You'll be glad to know that I cleaned the house earlier, I don't want you bitching at me when you get out of here." He chuckled humourlessly as he sat down beside Ludwig. He had to cling to the hope that his brother would wake up.

He couldn't live with the idea that he'd walked away from the crash with a few scratches and a concussion while Ludwig had taken the damage for his mistake. He didn't want his last words to his brother to be himself calling him a coward.

He should have pulled over…

He should have let Ludwig drive…

He carried on the one sided conversation for a while before falling into silence. He didn't see the point in continuing, instead glancing around the room. He noticed some fresh cornflowers sitting on the bedside table which hadn't been there the previous day.

"I take it Feli came to see you eh?" he mused aloud.

"Ve? Of course…"the Italian murmured from behind him, holding onto a cup of hot coffee that he'd just bought. Gilbert jumped slightly but didn't comment as the Italian sat down beside him.

He didn't understand why Feliciano didn't hate him for this…

The usually cheerful Italian seemed subdued as he sipped his coffee, eyes on the prone German.

"The doctors say he won't wake up…" he eventually mumbled.

"The doctors are quacks. He'll wake up. He has too…"

"He doesn't deserve this Gil… look at him…" Feliciano sounded close to tears as he glanced at the machines keeping the younger alive.

"You want me to kill him? Nein!"

"He's not going to get better! Please Gil… this is worse than death…"

"I thought you loved him?"

"I do… I thought you did as well."

"Of course I do!"

"Ve? Then tell me, are you doing this for him or for yourself?"

.o.)O(.o.

Months went by with those words still weighing on Gilbert's mind every time he visited his brother. Feliciano eventually stopped coming, the cornflowers wilting and dying without being replaced. Gilbert just shook his head at the thought.

'Letting go'? No, the Italian was just being a coward like he always was. He was going to wake up.

Gilbert chose to ignore the memory of Feliciano's tears when he told him he was returning to Italy to stay with his brother. That he couldn't stay with nothing but a ghost to remind him of the man he loved.

No, he had to remember that the brunette was a coward. That he always ran away when the going got tough. Ludwig was German. He was tough.

He'd wake up…

"He'll be so embarrassed when I prove him wrong, hey west?" he laughed. He hated the silence that greeted him. Ludwig should have been rolling his eyes, telling him off for being rude about Feliciano.

He sighed; nothing was as it should have been. His brother's hair was too long, his skin almost as pale as his own. He was gaunt, the IV in his arm barely nourishing him.

He shook his head free of such thoughts, forcing a smile onto his face.

"I brought a book to read to you, I tried to find that poet you're always going on about but I think I threw the book out by mistake… I'll replace it when you get better okay? But I found another book of poems; you always did like that sort of thing… I need to introduce you to some better reading material bru!" he teased, sighing again at the lack of response. Just the endless beeping filled the silence.

He frowned slightly before opening the small book of poems, reading the first one as clearly as possible despite the fact that his hands were shaking.

"You should have been there,

Seen that glorious sun rise.

Heard birds waking for the dawn,

Seen rays setting fire to the skies.

Your chains would have melted,

Your bonds would have broken.

No more pain or fear,

No more hurt unspoken

But the sun had already set.

The birds already flown.

You've tasted the final freedom,

Whilst I sit here alone…"

He frowned even more at the words, glancing back at his brother.

_Are you doing this for him or for yourself?_

He sighed, closing the book and taking his brother's too cold hand. "…I'm being a bad brother aren't I Luddy?" he mumbled, tears pricking his eyes. "I shouldn't be doing this to you… I'm sorry… for everything…"

His vision was blurred as he reached for the button for the nurse, only nodding sadly in response to her question. He kissed Ludwig's hand tenderly, closing his eyes as the machines were turned off. More tears escaped his eyes as he heard the heart monitor flat line.

_You've tasted the final freedom,_

_Whilst I sit here alone…_

…he should've pulled over.

**A/N2: I'M SO MEAN! But please review?**


End file.
